Strengths & Weaknesses

I have a lot of thoughts.

So much so that I often have trouble deciding what to write for these things. Or rather I struggle staying focused on one thing and not spiderwebbing off in a million directions. Like I do in my brain.

But something I've been pondering a lot lately is the concept of strength and weakness. Usually strength versus weakness. Usually with strength being desirable and weakness having a negative connotation.

But that's not really realistic and it's not really biblical.

When strength is discussed in the Bible, it is more often the admission that our strength is not our own but only that which is imparted to us by our Almighty God. Here are some examples of what I mean…that I literally stumbled across this morning (isn't it great how God, quite literally, speaks to us through His word, even when we don't really have a clear idea of what it is we need to hear?):

"Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song; He has become my salvation." -Isaiah 12:2

"Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, 'My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God'? Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." -Isaiah 40:27-29

That's really encouraging to me right now, because I feel so weak. And I am like doubting Israel, crying out to God, wondering if He's really got this under control. Wondering if He really does have an ultimate, glorious plan and this delayed departure for Italy or even my total reassignment to another country is really a part of it. Wondering why this is happening…what He's doing…if He cares…Wondering if He's forgotten about me…feeling disregarded and rejected.

Nope. Wrong.

Check this out:

"I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, 'You are my servant'; I have chosen you and not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." -Isaiah 41:9-10

Boom.

Well said, God. You haven't forgotten about me. You haven't rejected me (even if the Italian government ultimately does). I'm still Your servant and You will still use me to do things I can only do through Your strength at work within me.

I know He's refining me throughout this waiting and disappointment, like gold and silver in the fire. And that refining fire isn't exactly a comfortable heating pad…seat warmer…hot tub… So many analogies. I cannot pick.

And let me pause there for a second…Disappointment. All disappointment is the result of unmet expectations. I'm disappointed because I expected to be in Italy with people I've already grown to love, using art as a ministry tool and sharing the love of Christ with people in the community. But I'm here. At home. Feeling useless and worthless and restless. Potentially missing out on beautiful opportunities right in front of me if I let myself slip into pity party territory.

Kind of like how many Jews totally missed out on the blessing and joy and wonder and salvation of Jesus Christ because they expected a different fulfillment of their prophesies. Even though He really does fulfill everything written about Him in the Old Testament, many religious leaders of His day expected Him to come in power and glory as a warrior king bent of vindication. Instead, He came as a baby born in a barn who became a carpenter that associated with thieves and prostitutes and entered their city riding on a donkey. He embodied truth and love, but He wasn't what they thought He would be. And they crucified Him for it.

Spiderweb. Back to strength and weakness.

Again, I feel really weak. But I do realize that I need that. I need to be broken. Of my pride and my self-reliance and my expectations and my determination to be in control. If there's one thing this whole visa application thing has taught me, it's that I truly have no control whatsoever. I am at the mercy of the authorities, but mostly of God (All angels, authorities and powers are in submission to Him, after all (1 Peter 3:22). So I am confident that if and when He sees fit to obliterate any barrier keeping me from where He wants me, He has the power to do so.).

So I'll close with this, because I feel like we can all relate to Paul here:

"To keep me from becoming conceited…there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties, for when I am weak, then I am strong." -2 Corinthians 12:7-10