I've always loved that quote by William Blake.
Okay, "always" is an overstatement. I've really liked that quote since I first heard it in P.S. I Love You. (I wish I could say I first encountered it when I was actually reading William Blake in college, but alas...a tearjerker chick flick beat Brit Lit II to the punch.)
Anyway, yeah..."My business is to create." As an Art major, I really liked that idea. It was encouraging to think that whatever I ended up "doing with my life," creativity in some capacity would be involved. (And like Holly says in P.S. I Love You, "it doesn't matter if it's a work of art or a taco or a pair of socks...just create something...")
[As a side note, that movie is actually a very interesting and in-depth look at the grieving process, and oddly enough I happened to have been watching it (in Italian...language practice...merely language practice...) the day before I got the news about Kyra. I watched it again soon after and now I can relate to it in a different way. As a friend said recently about losing someone, you just don't fully understand until you're punched in the face by the personal experience of it. Then you're like "Oh. That's what it feels like. Crap."]
As those of you who have been keeping up with me throughout this entire journey already know, my original job description when I came to Italy involved working in a non-profit art gallery. And if you've been reading this blog for the past two years, you also know that it closed shortly after I arrived in Rome due to lack of funding and personnel changes. So, through this "loss" and many other discrepancies between expectation and reality, God has been teaching me about submission and flexibility and trusting His will even when I don't understand it.
[Other examples have included being delayed three months because of visa issues, my supervisor telling me he was leaving in three weeks as he was rolling one of my suitcases into my apartment complex for the first time, and our original landlord deciding to sell the apartment we were renting just after I had finally unpacked and started to settle in.]
None of that was what I expected. But I think my experience here has been just as good (if not better!) in spite of (or because of!) each of those changes. So, my new supervisor and his family became like family to me, I felt at home in our new apartment, and I happily settled into my new role that focused more on teaching English and being more involved in my Italian church. At that point, I had just more or less set my passion for art aside, assuming I wouldn't really have an opportunity to create while I was over here.
But plot twist!
My pastor came to another lady in my church and me with an idea. We were in the middle of a series of discussions on Tim Keller's The Reason for God. Each month, we met in a coffee shop and discussed a chapter, working through questions like "Can there really be just one true religion?" and "How could a good God allow suffering?" and "Has science disproved Christianity?" So, he had this idea of using art to talk about one of these chapters. The chapter he had in mind is called "The Clues of God."
I loved the idea, and immediately the proverbial wheels started turning. How does God demonstrate Himself to us in the world? It's a theme I've enjoyed exploring in the months since Leo suggested doing this art show.
The act of creating is a joy and privilege. Having this art show to work towards was an even greater blessing after losing Kyra. Much of the subject matter of the show changed after her death, inspiring three new paintings and changing my perspective on all the others.
[Sometimes I think about what she would say if she knew there are two paintings hanging in a coffee shop right now that are meant to depict her...her life, her faith and her love for others. She would probably think it was ridiculous. But these paintings about her helped me process my grief over losing her. Working on them helped me say goodbye to her in a way. And hopefully they will help many people remember how beautifully she radiated Christ's love...that God demonstrated Himself to us in the world through her life.]
So here are some of the paintings. And below is my artist's statement. And Courtney took photos and is going to make a little video too, so hopefully I can share that with you soon as well.
I am many
things.
American.
Artist. Traveller. Writer. Teacher. Daughter. Sister. Friend.
But above all
these things, my true identity is in Christ. I am a Christian. And this affects
all the other things about me.
He is my Hope.
My Anchor. My Compass. My Captain.
He is also the lens
through which I see the world. My faith affects my perspective on everything. I
believe God reveals himself to us in the world, if we would only have eyes to
see and ears to hear.
He leaves
traces. Hints. Clues.
I see Him in
the vastness of the Earth and the beautiful diversity of cultures and
individual people, because I believe He created the largest planet in the solar
system and the smallest atom in the tiniest microorganism. I see Him in a husband’s love for his wife,
because I believe the church is the bride of Christ. I see Him in a father
cradling and delighting in his child, because God is my Heavenly Father. I even see Him in the brokenness in the world,
because it reminds me that only He can heal and satisfy and that this world is
not really our home.
I also see Him
in other people whose identity is in Him. I’ve encountered few people who
reflected Christ so vividly as Kyra Karr. All of us who knew and loved her were
devastated when we heard about the car accident and that she didn’t make it.
Her death truly rattled me, making me more aware of the uncertainty, frailty
and brevity of life. But more than anything, her death made me reflect on her
life…how she lived it to the glory of God and how it has impacted my own. So
the series about hospitality is for her, because she had the gift of hospitality
and she used it to love and bless others. The “Colors” painting is also for
her, because she was a “color…[who brought] glory to the Light.”
I love art. I
love to create. It is a cathartic release and a small miracle turn an idea and a blank canvas
into something beautiful and meaningful. I hope that even in this I could
reflect the Ultimate Creator…that the colors of these paintings would bring
glory to the Light.
Thank you for
looking at these paintings. My prayer is that from now on you might be more inclined
to see God in your day-to-day life. That you might be inspired to consider His
existence….to consider getting to know Him…
To consider the
possibility that He could not only exist, but be Creator, Sustainer, Redeemer
and Friend.
Sono tante cose.
Americana. Artista. Viaggiatrice. Scrittrice.
Insegnante. Figlia. Sorella. Amica.
Ma, innanzitutto, la mia identità è in Cristo.
Sono cristiana. E questo influisce su tutta me stessa.
Lui è la mia Speranza. La mia Ancora. La mia
Bussola. Il mio Capitano.
Lui è anche la lente attraverso cui vedo il mondo.
La mia fede determina la mia prospettiva su ogni cosa. Credo che Dio si riveli
a noi nel mondo, se solo abbiamo occhi per vederlo e orecchie per sentirlo.
Ci lascia tracce. Accenni. Indizi.
Lo vedo nella vastità del mondo e nella magnifica diversità
delle culture e degli individui, perché credo che Lui abbia creato il pianeta più
grande del sistema solare, e anche l’atomo più piccolo del più minuscolo microrganismo.
Lo vedo nell’amore di un marito per sua moglie, perché credo che la Chiesa sia
la sposa di Cristo. Lo vedo in un padre quando culla amorevolmente il suo
bambino, perché Dio è il mio Padre Celeste. Posso anche vederLo nella devastazione
del mondo, perché mi ricorda che solo Lui può curare e appagare e che questo
mondo non è veramente casa nostra.
Lo vedo anche nelle altre persone che hanno trovato
la loro identità in Cristo. Ne ho incontrate poche che sono state il riflesso
di Cristo così vividamente come lo è stata Kyra Karr. Tutti noi che la
conoscevamo e amavamo siamo rimasti totalmente sconvolti quando abbiamo sentito
dell’incidente stradale e che lei non ce l’aveva fatta. La sua morte mi ha
veramente scossa, mi ha resa più consapevole dell’incertezza, della fragilità e
della brevità della vita. Ma, soprattutto, la sua morte mi ha fatta riflettere
sulla sua vita…come la viveva per la gloria di Dio e quale impatto ha avuto
sulla mia. Così la serie sull’ospitalità è per Kyra, perché aveva il dono dell’ospitalità
e perché l’ha usato per amare e benedire gli altri. Anche il quadro dei “Colori”
è per lei, perché era un “colore che ha reso gloria alla Luce.”
Amo l’arte. Adoro creare. È una liberazione
catartica e un piccolo miracolo trasformare un’idea e una tela bianca in
qualcosa di bellissimo e significativo. Spero che anche in questo io possa
riflettere il Sommo Creatore…che i colori di queste opere possano rendere
gloria alla Luce.
Grazie per aver guardato questi quadri. La mia
preghiera è che d’ora in poi siate più desiderosi di vedere Dio nella vita
quotidiana…che siate più inclini a tenere conto della Sua esistenza…a volerLo
conoscere meglio…
No comments:
Post a Comment