Advent is a season of waiting…expectantly awaiting the arrival of our Messiah and anticipating the celebration of His birth.
I'm sure it's different in many churches, and I'm not exactly sure when and where this tradition originated, but at our church we light a candle signifying a different aspect of Advent each of the four Sundays before Christmas:
Hope. Peace. Joy. Love.
One way the Lord has really blessed me lately is to allow my emotions and experiences to coincide with these four gifts from above that we celebrate throughout December.
Let me explain.
Hope.
We celebrated Hope on Dec. 1, the day before I went back to the consulate with the hope of acquiring a visa. This was the third and final shot. A long shot, to say the least. But we were hopeful. The appointment wasn't perfect…we waited for two hours, only to be told that they'd have to deliberate further and would email us if more information was required.
I went away a bit downcast and frustrated, honestly. To me, the situation was now hopeless. There was nothing further I, in my own wisdom, strength or power, could do to convince them I "deserved" or was qualified for this visa when they seemed to have decided otherwise. Christ alone could work a miracle to change hearts and minds. It was out of my hands, out of my control.
But I clung to the hope and assurance that He "is at God's right hand--with angels, authorities and powers in submission to him" (1 Peter 3:22). Even government workers.
The next week, I did pray for a miracle, but I also prayed for clarity about what to do if the door to Italy was closed and barred for good. Within that week, and really within the span of one day, a beautiful opportunity to be a traveling writer in Southeast Asia solidified. Suddenly, this possibility became real and exciting…I could visualize living there with friends I made during training and I was thrilled by the prospect of playing a small part in telling God's story of salvation in Asia.
That's where Peace came in.
By the following Sunday, on which we focused on Peace, God had granted me this incredible sense of spiritual tranquility. He had quieted my soul. I was willing and equally excited about either direction He would take me. Admittedly, Southeast Asia would be more unfamiliar and probably a rougher transition, after all this time preparing mentally, emotionally and logistically for Italy. But I surrendered Rome. I laid it down. I wanted God's will, whatever it was.
"Take my will and make it Thine…It shall be no longer mine."
So that's where I was. Ready to go either place, but just yearning and crying out, "Lord, send me! Please use me somewhere!" I was just so ready to go. Tired of waiting. In pain and struggling beneath the burden of uncertainly. Trusting, but soul-sick.
And then…
Joy.
Two days after our Joy Sunday, I got a phone call from my Logistics Coordinator. He'd gotten an email from the consulate that my visa was being "issued/shipped."
I was going to Italy.
Holy smokes! Is this real life?! I did nothing but wait for three weeks. I. Did. NOTHING. Which means, of course, that Christ alone gets the glory! He worked a miracle, and I still can't believe or understand it.
And now it really feels official! My visa came in the mail yesterday. The best Christmas gift I could ask for. Thanks, God :)
I just…I'm speechless. God is so sovereign and gracious and good. Nothing and no one can diminish His glory…"He WILL be exalted among the nations, He will be exalted in all the earth." And I can't wait to watch Him display His glory in Rome. Y'all…I get to see that. I'm overwhelmed. I can't wait. I'm amazed. I'm in love.
So, Love…
I love Jesus. I love all of you for reading these and praying for me and encouraging me when I felt like I just couldn't stand this ache anymore. I love Italians, even though I don't know that many yet. I pray that God would give me a love for everyone I encounter, that in doing so, they would be able "to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that [they] may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." (Ephesians 3:18-19)
After all, "The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." (Galatians 5:6)
So on this Christmas Eve, I pray you feel that love…that you would fully grasp and embrace the love poured out on all of us by our Father by sending His Son. That we could love like He did, laying down our very lives for the good of others. That we would be as selfless as our Savior. That we would be totally knocked on our butts by the immensity of His love for us…such imperfect, screwed up beings. That we could be changed by that love. That we would love others because of it.
We love because He first loved us.
So Merry Christmas! I love you all! Have a wonderful day celebrated what it's really about…Immanuel. God with us. I pray He'll be born in your heart today.
Oh yeah, and I don't have to start a new blog that doesn't say "Love from Rome." And soon I can legitimately say that!!!! :D
But until then, and probably this one last time…
Love from Home,
Elizabeth
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Strengths & Weaknesses
I have a lot of thoughts.
So much so that I often have trouble deciding what to write for these things. Or rather I struggle staying focused on one thing and not spiderwebbing off in a million directions. Like I do in my brain.
But something I've been pondering a lot lately is the concept of strength and weakness. Usually strength versus weakness. Usually with strength being desirable and weakness having a negative connotation.
But that's not really realistic and it's not really biblical.
When strength is discussed in the Bible, it is more often the admission that our strength is not our own but only that which is imparted to us by our Almighty God. Here are some examples of what I mean…that I literally stumbled across this morning (isn't it great how God, quite literally, speaks to us through His word, even when we don't really have a clear idea of what it is we need to hear?):
"Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song; He has become my salvation." -Isaiah 12:2
"Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, 'My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God'? Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." -Isaiah 40:27-29
That's really encouraging to me right now, because I feel so weak. And I am like doubting Israel, crying out to God, wondering if He's really got this under control. Wondering if He really does have an ultimate, glorious plan and this delayed departure for Italy or even my total reassignment to another country is really a part of it. Wondering why this is happening…what He's doing…if He cares…Wondering if He's forgotten about me…feeling disregarded and rejected.
Nope. Wrong.
Check this out:
"I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, 'You are my servant'; I have chosen you and not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." -Isaiah 41:9-10
Boom.
Well said, God. You haven't forgotten about me. You haven't rejected me (even if the Italian government ultimately does). I'm still Your servant and You will still use me to do things I can only do through Your strength at work within me.
I know He's refining me throughout this waiting and disappointment, like gold and silver in the fire. And that refining fire isn't exactly a comfortable heating pad…seat warmer…hot tub… So many analogies. I cannot pick.
And let me pause there for a second…Disappointment. All disappointment is the result of unmet expectations. I'm disappointed because I expected to be in Italy with people I've already grown to love, using art as a ministry tool and sharing the love of Christ with people in the community. But I'm here. At home. Feeling useless and worthless and restless. Potentially missing out on beautiful opportunities right in front of me if I let myself slip into pity party territory.
Kind of like how many Jews totally missed out on the blessing and joy and wonder and salvation of Jesus Christ because they expected a different fulfillment of their prophesies. Even though He really does fulfill everything written about Him in the Old Testament, many religious leaders of His day expected Him to come in power and glory as a warrior king bent of vindication. Instead, He came as a baby born in a barn who became a carpenter that associated with thieves and prostitutes and entered their city riding on a donkey. He embodied truth and love, but He wasn't what they thought He would be. And they crucified Him for it.
Spiderweb. Back to strength and weakness.
Again, I feel really weak. But I do realize that I need that. I need to be broken. Of my pride and my self-reliance and my expectations and my determination to be in control. If there's one thing this whole visa application thing has taught me, it's that I truly have no control whatsoever. I am at the mercy of the authorities, but mostly of God (All angels, authorities and powers are in submission to Him, after all (1 Peter 3:22). So I am confident that if and when He sees fit to obliterate any barrier keeping me from where He wants me, He has the power to do so.).
So I'll close with this, because I feel like we can all relate to Paul here:
"To keep me from becoming conceited…there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties, for when I am weak, then I am strong." -2 Corinthians 12:7-10
So much so that I often have trouble deciding what to write for these things. Or rather I struggle staying focused on one thing and not spiderwebbing off in a million directions. Like I do in my brain.
But something I've been pondering a lot lately is the concept of strength and weakness. Usually strength versus weakness. Usually with strength being desirable and weakness having a negative connotation.
But that's not really realistic and it's not really biblical.
When strength is discussed in the Bible, it is more often the admission that our strength is not our own but only that which is imparted to us by our Almighty God. Here are some examples of what I mean…that I literally stumbled across this morning (isn't it great how God, quite literally, speaks to us through His word, even when we don't really have a clear idea of what it is we need to hear?):
"Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song; He has become my salvation." -Isaiah 12:2
"Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, 'My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God'? Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." -Isaiah 40:27-29
That's really encouraging to me right now, because I feel so weak. And I am like doubting Israel, crying out to God, wondering if He's really got this under control. Wondering if He really does have an ultimate, glorious plan and this delayed departure for Italy or even my total reassignment to another country is really a part of it. Wondering why this is happening…what He's doing…if He cares…Wondering if He's forgotten about me…feeling disregarded and rejected.
Nope. Wrong.
Check this out:
"I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, 'You are my servant'; I have chosen you and not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." -Isaiah 41:9-10
Boom.
Well said, God. You haven't forgotten about me. You haven't rejected me (even if the Italian government ultimately does). I'm still Your servant and You will still use me to do things I can only do through Your strength at work within me.
I know He's refining me throughout this waiting and disappointment, like gold and silver in the fire. And that refining fire isn't exactly a comfortable heating pad…seat warmer…hot tub… So many analogies. I cannot pick.
And let me pause there for a second…Disappointment. All disappointment is the result of unmet expectations. I'm disappointed because I expected to be in Italy with people I've already grown to love, using art as a ministry tool and sharing the love of Christ with people in the community. But I'm here. At home. Feeling useless and worthless and restless. Potentially missing out on beautiful opportunities right in front of me if I let myself slip into pity party territory.
Kind of like how many Jews totally missed out on the blessing and joy and wonder and salvation of Jesus Christ because they expected a different fulfillment of their prophesies. Even though He really does fulfill everything written about Him in the Old Testament, many religious leaders of His day expected Him to come in power and glory as a warrior king bent of vindication. Instead, He came as a baby born in a barn who became a carpenter that associated with thieves and prostitutes and entered their city riding on a donkey. He embodied truth and love, but He wasn't what they thought He would be. And they crucified Him for it.
Spiderweb. Back to strength and weakness.
Again, I feel really weak. But I do realize that I need that. I need to be broken. Of my pride and my self-reliance and my expectations and my determination to be in control. If there's one thing this whole visa application thing has taught me, it's that I truly have no control whatsoever. I am at the mercy of the authorities, but mostly of God (All angels, authorities and powers are in submission to Him, after all (1 Peter 3:22). So I am confident that if and when He sees fit to obliterate any barrier keeping me from where He wants me, He has the power to do so.).
So I'll close with this, because I feel like we can all relate to Paul here:
"To keep me from becoming conceited…there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties, for when I am weak, then I am strong." -2 Corinthians 12:7-10
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