lost & found

Hey there!

So it's been over a month since you've heard from me [Sorry about that], and I've been in four different countries since then [five, if you count a layover in Belgium].

I could spend this blog post telling you about a trip to Israel, recounting how we hiked to the cave where David hid from Saul in the desert [1 Samuel 24], how we swam in the Dead Sea, rode camels, looked out over the place where Jesus called Peter out upon the waters [Matthew 14], and stepped into the tomb where Jesus was [most likely] buried. I could attempt to express how amazing it was, as a very visual person, to be able to really see where many of the events on which my faith is based actually happened and what a pleasure it was to be driven around and hear about the history and culture from a friend who had lived there for almost two years.

Or I could spend the rest of this post telling you about meeting my family in England...how I saw my brother for the first time in over and year and a half and how I am so proud of and thankful for my family's love for each other and the Lord [not to mention their proficient planning skills that made our whole experience possible!]. I could tell you about how I lived every hopeless romantic's dream by touring the grand houses and castles used in Downton Abbey, Pride and Prejudice and The Princess Bride. I could use the next few paragraphs to write a rave review of the Harry Potter studios tour. Because if you've read the books and seen the movies as many times as I have, you would walk around in wide-eyed wonder too. I could also elaborate on how my favorite part of the trip was reuniting with friends who used to live in Rome and seeing one of their hometowns. And how this friend put it so interestingly..."If someone had told me when we first met, 'This is Elizabeth. One day you'll show her around Richmond and shoot arrows in your backyard,' I never would have believed them." 

I do truly marvel at the places God has allowed me to see, the experiences He's allowed me to have, and people He's given me the privilege of knowing and loving.

But I'm not going to talk about any of that [Sorry to disappoint].

Instead, I'm going to tell you about losing my suitcase [Your attempt to stifle that yawn is greatly appreciated].

So, directly after the aforementioned dream-trip to England, I hugged my family goodbye and got off the bus at my terminal at London Heathrow on the way to a conference in Portugal. Everything was going smoothly, until I almost tried to board the wrong flight for Porto during my very short layover in Brussels. It was a close call, but I did make it to the right gate. However, apparently my bag did not. 

After landing and waiting while all the bags circulated around the conveyer belt and realizing mine was not going to be one of them, I went to the area marked "Lost and Found." However, I had a dilemma: My flight had landed late and the line to file a report about the suitcase was long, and I was supposed to leave on a bus with a group to go to the conference. Not having any way of contacting anyone [I don't have an international phone plan] and not wanting them to leave without me, I left the baggage claim area to find the people with whom I was supposed to take the bus to the hotel an hour away.

To make a long story short, I finally found my group, and about an hour and a half later I was on the bus [still suitcaseless...having been told there was no record of where my suitcase might be]. So I plopped down in the first available seat, only to realize God had orchestrated that as well. The woman I sat next to was an incredible listener, who graciously listened to me vent my frustration and worry that I would never find my bag [which, most critically, had my camera with all my un-uploaded pictures from the trip on it as well as six months' worth of contact lenses that Mom had brought me and other things that were of personal importance to me]. She also prayed with me about some things I hadn't dealt with emotionally, apparently, that had bubbled up under the stress of losing something valuable. On top of all that, it turns out that she went to the same graduate school I've been considering and studied the same thing! So that was further confirmation [of which God has been gracious enough to provide me with in abundance lately] that that should be the next step.

I'm sure this seems petty to most of you, because I know that losing a suitcase is pretty common and they usually find it and deliver it to wherever you're staying within 24 hours. But it [thankfully] had never happened to be before. Now, granted, I was in just about the best possible place for it to happen...surrounded by people I know and who care about me and not having much to really "do" besides sit in sessions and listen.

So that is one lesson that I learned from this "loss"...you just don't really need that much. Now, I have gotten pretty good at packing light [shocking, I know, for those who know me from home...the girl whose suitcase always just barely met the maximum weight requirement]. I mean, I've been to Germany and Israel with nothing but a backpack. But for the first time since leaving home, I packed my medium-sized suitcase because I figured it was appropriate if I was going to be away for two weeks. However, I ended up wearing the same things all the time in England because it was almost always cold and rainy and I only packed a few things appropriate for such weather [silly me]. And then, as you know, I was never able to used any of it while in Portugal. 

So as over-prepared and well-packed as you try to be, your suitcase could get lost and it could all be for nothing. So just pack the essentials in a carryon and roll with it.

Also, I learned it really is okay to ask for help. When people found out I literally only had the outfit I was wearing and my purse, people lent me everything from clothes to contact solution to a cell phone charger. And you know what? I didn't have makeup or the books I had brought or workout clothes or a swimsuit or another pair of shoes. But I had more than enough.

The way I packed is pretty indicative of my life in general...I have a lot of superfluous stuff. Stuff that sits and gathers dust. Stuff that could better benefit someone else. My stack of "wants" that could be exchanged for someone's sincere "need." What about you?

But however much it was constructive to become more conscious of my own tendency towards materialism, let's face it: the suitcase's contents [particularly the camera] were still valuable to me. It's not as though this all taught me to throw up my hands in such a situation and say, "Oh well, there's that. I didn't really need that stuff anyway." No, of course I called the airport daily to inquire if my luggage had been found [no record of it was tracked until day two of the trip, when it was found in Belgium]. And how my heart leapt when it was no longer floating around in the void! Someone finally knew its whereabouts! And how I wanted to hug it when it was finally delivered to the hotel at midnight before the last full day in Porto!

And it made me think...my Father cares about things that are lost. He doesn't throw up His hands and say, "Oh well, good riddance." In fact, Jesus gave us three parables in a row in Luke 15 to illustrate how He feels about the lost. The shortest of which is this:

"Suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Doesn’t she light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.’ In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." [Luke 15:8-10]

This story is preceded by one about how a shepherd left the 99 safe sheep to find the one that was lost. The parable after is that of the Prodigal Son, about whom, when he returned home, his father said, "Let's have a feast and celebrate! For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found."

I'm so glad I serve a God who doesn't abandon that which is seemingly forgotten and tossed in the Lost and Found bin.

"For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost." [Luke 19:10]

The good news, in case you were wondering, is that everything, including my camera, was in my suitcase when it was returned to me. Nothing had been lost forever. And how I did rejoice over what was lost and had been found!

I'll leave you with this, because it's a hymn we all are probably somewhat familiar with...but take some time to really meditate on these lyrics:

1. Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
   That saved a wretch like me!
   I once was lost, but now am found;
   Was blind, but now I see.
2. ’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
   And grace my fears relieved;
   How precious did that grace appear
   The hour I first believed.
3. Through many dangers, toils and snares,
   I have already come;
   ’Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
   And grace will lead me home.
4. The Lord has promised good to me,
   His Word my hope secures;
   He will my Shield and Portion be,
   As long as life endures.
5. Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
   And mortal life shall cease,
   I shall possess, within the veil,
   A life of joy and peace.
6. The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
   The sun forbear to shine;
   But God, who called me here below,
   Will be forever mine.
7. When we’ve been there ten thousand years,
   Bright shining as the sun,
   We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise
   Than when we’d first begun.

Love from Rome,

Elizabeth

la grande bellezza.

Confession: Up until last week, I had never been to summer camp.

Shocking, I know.

Sure, I've been to my fair share of day camps...from horseback riding camps to art camps to theater camps to weeks of Vacation Bible School...my summers were filled with things to keep me busy Monday though Friday from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. But alas, I never went to a sleep-away camp.

Luckily for me, I got to experience this missing piece of adolescence last week in the mountains of central Italy...along with 110 energetic Italian kids, a team of American university students and a group of English teachers.

Throughout this 10-day "English and Fun" camp, I helped teach thirteen 6-year-olds during the three hours of English class each morning and then did games and crafts with rotating groups of all 110 energetic Italian kids in the afternoon. I also had six sweet 11-year-olds in my cabin for "nap time." (Which, let's be honest, no 11-year-old girl in a small room with five of her best friends is going to be interested in sleeping. Or being quiet. I've got to give them credit though...they did try. They attempted to play versions of the Quiet Game that quickly disintegrated into bouts of laughter. Perhaps the most entertaining was when they played Hide and Seek...in a tiny room with six bunk beds. They turned the lights out and closed their eyes and felt around to try to find people and guess who was who. With a running commentary in Italian. Made me laugh.)

We also ate all our meals together. Having never been to camp, I guess I don't know for sure, but I'd be willing to bet good money this was some of the best camp food on the planet. Italians are serious about their food...aside from the skimpy breakfasts of essentially just bread and Nutella every morning, lunch and dinner were three-course affairs. 

After dinner, we'd have an hour-long program to wrap up the day. These generally consisted of the Camp Song (Miley Cyrus's "Party in the USA" with camp-specific lyrics...which had super cool choreography which I led daily...I don't ever want to hear that song again...But hey the kids LOVED it! Half the camp always wanted to come up to the front to do it with us), kid interviews (opportunities for the kids to practice answering questions in English), and some sort of activity to reinforce that day's theme (some of my favorites were the "human piano" where each kid had to make a difference animal noise when the teacher touched his or her head...also when some of the teachers and staff members pretended to be the Seven Dwarfs on the day we talked about feelings/emotions). Then the overnight campers would watch part of a movie before lights out. And because I didn't have overnight campers in my room, I got to hang out with the other people working at the camp or sometimes just go out on the rooftop terrace to watch the sun set between the surrounding snow-capped mountains or be blown away by the vastness of the star-speckled sky.

But this camp was no cakewalk. It was exhausting and stressful and things went wrong and kids wouldn't listen and my brain hurt from helping kids who spoke no English and Americans who spoke no Italian communicate with each other. And Italian kids are just loud. And they just have more energy than American kids.

But Italian kids are so stinkin' cute. They're beautiful little people. And they are so much more affectionate than American kids. My love tank was overflowing this week with all the hugs and kisses and words of affirmation. I fell in love with so many of these little rascals. 

Not only that, but this experience and these children taught me so much.

First of all, they are indeed created in the image of God. They're just so beautiful and precious. Ahh. I can't even.

Secondly, they just want to be loved. And they are so unspoiled by the world insomuch as they can readily accept love. I was reminded of the story of Jesus and the little children (in Matthew, Mark and Luke). The disciples wanted to push them away, but Jesus said, "'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.' And he took the children in his arms, put his hands of them and blessed them." (Mark 10:14-16)

But perhaps what was most glaringly apparent to me (and most convicting for me) was the unavoidable reality of our sinful nature. Sure, some behaviors sprout from family issues or lack of discipline, but we are flat-out born as selfish creatures. And selfishness is at the root of so many sins...from choosing to run off and do your own thing instead of the activity the teacher/counselor has planned or screaming that it isn't fair that the 6-year-old day campers get to shower first after the water-games day or making fun of the pudgiest little girl in your class (all of which happened this week). We want what (we think) is best for us.

And we like attention. Mamma mia. There were these two preteen girls who were literally crying because they each had a crush on a (much older) counselor/staff member who "wasn't paying attention" to them. And they would get pity hugs and special treatment. That is until they kept disappearing and ultimately were sneaking into other campers rooms and prank calling people from their cell phones. It was a bit of a dramatic week.

However, I can't be too hard of them. Because that's me. I see that same desire for attention and affirmation and affection in myself. Maybe I don't act on those tendencies the same way, but I know those are the things I struggle with too. It is only the grace of God that saves me from myself.

On top of all these things God taught me this week, He also allowed me to connect with some amazing people. From the directors of the English Camp (who I already knew a bit but got to know much better) to the American students to staff members I had the pleasure of talking to, laughing with and working alongside, it was truly a joy to make so many new friends. And just to experience the Body of Christ in this way (though it was an English Camp, it was held at an Evangelical Center, so all the workers were Christian volunteers). I mean, I had only known these people for a few days and I was already having deep conversations and making hilarious memories with them. I love that. I love that when you're with a group of people whose identity is in Christ...well, you have the most important thing in common. And you're family. And it's such a blessing.

And one last thing: God has just been bowling me over with his beauty lately. I cannot describe the sunsets or the view from the mountaintop on our excursion day (and the pictures hardly do it justice but I'll include them anyway). I just don't see how people could look upon such beauty and not think there had to have been a Creator. This couldn't have all just happened. Or maybe they're looking but they're not seeing. They're not savoring. Not enjoying it. ("Taste and see that the Lord is good." -Psalm 34:8) Or perhaps they're enjoying the gift more than the Gift-Giver. 

I'm reminded of a Tim Keller quote, and I'll end with this: "Religious people find God useful. Christians find God beautiful."

May we never consider Him simply useful or worse, entirely nonexistent. He IS, and he is not just a means to an end. He is Creator, Sustainer, Redeemer and Friend.

God, you are so beautiful.

the climb.

I strongly dislike Miley Cyrus. Especially because sometimes I'm forced to see her on the ads that come up on YouTube as she sings, "Love, money, party" incessantly and tries to look sexy. I just want to shake her and scream, "There's money to life than being as shockingly raunchy as possible!!!" Poor thing.

But back in her Hannah Montana heyday, she had this song...The Climb (which, quite unfortunately, is currently stuck in my head). And, for better of for worse, it was part of my train of thought as I faced a climb of my own last week.

Last weekend, I had the absolute pleasure of spending several days in what might be the most beautiful place I've ever seen...Le Cinque Terre, or "five lands" in Italian. Nestled in cliffs, these five colorful towns are scattered across the Italian Riviera. The weather was perfect, the water was my favorite color and the food was fantastic! The little apartment we stayed in was wonderful as well...complete with a plethora of lemon trees in the garden. And I didn't overanalyze or think about my to-do list or make any plans and I wasn't responsible for anything or anyone...it felt like I could completely relax for the first time in a while.

And here are the pictures to prove it:

But why, you ask, is the title of this blog post "The Climb" if this weekend was so beautiful and relaxing?

Well, our last night there, we decided to embark on what we were informed was a "30-minute hike" to the the far end of the Cinque Terre coastline (we stayed in the last town, Monterosso). But what we expected to be a pleasant, relatively mild coastal walk turned out to be a rather steep hike to the top of the mountain at the far end of the Cinque Terre coastline, which, all in all, took us nearly two hours! 

We just kept following what we hoped was the right trail, and it just kept going...UP. At a certain point, I had gotten so far ahead of Courtney and her mom that I couldn't see or hear them anymore. Then I came to a sign that seemed to indicate that THIS was the beginning of the "30-minute hike." And then it really started going up. And it had already been a long day and it was almost dinner time and the sun was starting to set. But I thought, "I've gotten this far. Let's finish this!"

So up I went, with rather less water than was probably good for me and rather more huffing and puffing than I'd like to admit, all the while hoping I wouldn't have to climb back down in the dark and pondering what would happen if I fell or encountered an ax-murderer or a bear (are there bears in Italy?)...there would be no one to hear me scream...

But, throwing caution to the wind, I continued my ascent...not really knowing where this trail would take me or if there would even be a view at the top to make it all worth it. I just kept thinking about verses like Psalm 121:3 ("He will not let you foot slip--He who watches over you will not slumber") and prayed that would be true. And I felt Him with me, as I do most powerfully when I am alone and it's quiet and distractions are minimal (oh, that we would take more time to shut up and let Him speak).

And as I kept going I thought, Isn't life like this? We don't know what's coming around the bend in the path, and sometimes life is a sandy-toed stroll along the beach and sometimes it's a white-knuckled struggle up a mountain. 

Take it away, Miley...

"The struggles I'm facing

The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby..."

I can't believe I just quoted Miley Cyrus. Yeah. That happened.

Oh and by the way, there was an AMAZING view from the top, I got to see the sunset, Courtney met me up there and we walked back together, and I didn't break my ankle, fall off a cliff, get eaten by bears or axed to death by a psychopath.

I know we can't always have mountaintop experiences. Sometimes we do slip and slide all the way back into that valley. Sometimes the climb seems never-ending. Sometimes we just want to give up because the struggle just doesn't seem worth it.

But I hope at the end of this earthly life, I will feel like I did when I finally reached the top of that mountain. I hope I can say, along with Paul, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." -2 Timothy 4:7

un matrimonio italiano.

The last three days have definitely been an adventure. In fact, today was supposed to be an adventure as well (a hiking trip up snow-capped mountains...thwarted by a forecast of rain and exhaustion brought on by the aforementioned three days of adventure). Quindi (and so), I have an unexpected plan-free day to tell you all about it.

Let's start with Friday. Friday I had the pleasure of going with three friends to an agriturismo (very common in the Italian countryside...basically a combination of a farm and a bed and breakfast). The highlight of this much-needed escape from city life was galloping through olive groves with this in the background:

[Actually I'm still waiting for a picture my lovely tour guide took on her phone near the end of our ride, so hopefully I can add that soon.]

And I realized how much I miss riding. It's been over a year since I've been on a horse (and even longer since I've been in a horse show or jumped a fence), so it felt good to be "back in the saddle." Literally. Well, it felt good during the ride itself. I'm not gonna lie, I'm actually still sore (after three days). I don't think I really noticed how much of a workout riding is when I did it several times a week in high school. Ah, nostalgia. 

So that day was really fun, and of course being with those three friends is always a joy :)

Then, early the next morning, I met up with people from my church in Rome to go to the region of Abruzzo to fellowship with other evangelical churches in Italy. It was great to meet so many Italian believers and hear how Christ has changed their lives. ["Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come." -2 Corinthians 5:17]

We met in a park, and one church did a "mime" about the masks we wear. There was "la bella" (the beautiful girl who cares so much about her appearance...but behind her mask of self confidence, she's insecure and obsessed with the "faults" she sees in the mirror), the party animal (who seems to be always having fun and laughing at life, but who is killing himself trying to please people and searching for acceptance), the bully (who is cruel to others as a sort of self-protection mechanism) and the "religious" person (who scolds and rebukes, but is actually blind and stumbling about). They then went on to depict how Jesus can take the masks away...even if it's difficult at first and even if they wanted to put their masks back on again...they found joy and fulfillment in "taking off the old self with its practices and putting on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator." (Colossians 3:9-10)

Then, after a quick lunch, we drove another hour or so to the wedding of two members of our church. We got there just in time to cram into the bathroom and change clothes (or so we thought...seeing as the ceremony started half an hour late, we ended up having plenty of time).

I love weddings. It takes me back to the year I interned for a wedding planner (which was SO much fun :)). I love the details...the decorations, the color choices, the dress, the venue, the food. I've probably been to more weddings than I can count, and I have to say this one was one of my favorites. Not only was it my first Italian wedding, automatically making it special, but the setting was breathtaking, the food was delicious, the dancing was "divertente" and most importantly, the ceremony was nothing short of God-glorifying. 

The ceremony was filled with thanksgiving and the Word. Our pastor talked about 1 Corinthians 13, focusing on the fact that though we can and should strive to love like this (with patience, kindness, humility, forgiveness, selflessness and hope), we will never love others perfectly. I wish I didn't, but I still hold grudges, "keeping record of wrongs"...I still want what I don't have and I don't want to wait for it...I still snap at my mom and don't think of my roommate before myself. I am not always patient or kind and, I'm sure, I'm often rude. So these verses are a beautiful standard, but it's important to note that Christ was the only one who ever lived up to it. And only because of Him could I ever hope to not lash out in frustration at a personal jab or be self-seeking, envious and proud. 

The vows were beautiful and so was the message from the pastor of the groom's home church. In every aspect of the ceremony, God got the credit. Rarely have I seen that done so intentionally and wholeheartedly at a wedding, at it was truly lovely to witness. 

I could go on and on about how marriage is (or should be) a picture of Christ's relationship with us (with His "bride," the church [Ephesians 5:25-27]). But I feel like I've said it all before, so I'll let this video do the talking. (Because if a picture's worth a thousand words, a video can speak volumes, right?)

Italian weddings are lengthy affairs. And this one reflected three main aspects of Italian culture. 

First of all, Italians care about friends and family and are generally very inviting, hospitable and inclusive. This was exemplified in the group photo. I kid you not...we took a group photo with all 200+ people at that wedding.

Secondly, Italians love to eat. Again, I kid you not, we ate for over four hours. That's eight courses, my friends. I didn't think I was going to make it there for a while.

But then, we all made room for desert by dancing off the first seven platefuls of food. Because, last but not least, Italians love to have fun! They had a band who played traditional music and led in traditional dances from that region of Italy. I think this was my favorite part of the day. I love dance. It can say so much about a country's culture and heritage. And it just feels good to move and let loose!

I finally crawled into bed a little after 1 a.m. (even though the party was still going strong). But the weekend wasn't over yet! The next morning, we went to the groom's home church and enjoyed worshipping together and (you guessed it!) more food. Lasagna, veggies and vast array of desserts. And coffee, of course. Then, around 3 p.m., all 50 or so of us sat down to share a little about ourselves and how we can be praying for each other.

So this weekend was definitely a cultural experience. And a beautiful one at that :) But I have to admit I was pretty happy to be home (at around 7 p.m. last night)...to relax, do a little yoga, watch a movie, and just not speak to anyone for a few hours ;)

Even with all it's quirks (and what culture doesn't have plenty of those?), I'm so grateful I get to live in and really experience Italy. I'm amazed by all the things I've gotten to see and do so far and all the people I've had the pleasure of getting to know. Here's to eight more months of this crazy, challenging, exciting adventure!

this ain't Burger King...

Is that even Burger King's slogan anymore? 

"Have it your way."

If we're honest, that's what we all want...isn't it? We want it our way...we want what we want when we want it and how we want it.

But (again, still being transparent with ourselves here) do we really know what we want? And if we think we do, are we sure it's what we really need? Are we sure it's what's best?

We live in a me-centered, self-satisfying, find-what-feels-good world. We want what's comfortable and convenient. What tastes good. What feels good. What affirms me. What satisfies me. What works for me.

But what if I'm not the center of my own universe? What if I lived as if that were true? Would I love people better? Would I admit that there is a truth outside of what suits me in my life right now? Would I see that there's something bigger than me and my maximum of 90-or-so years on this Earth?

Would I realize it's not about me?

What if there was a bigger picture? An infinite plan? What if there was a Being that created the tiniest self-replicating cells in the smallest organism as well as Mount Everest, the oceans, Jupiter and Neptune? What if this Being were all-knowing and all-powerful and perfect?

What if He were also personal? Relational? Loving?

Ok, a perfect, wise, loving Creator. Maybe we can cope with that. In fact, that sounds pretty good.

But are we willing to admit we don't deserve the love of One so flawless? 

"Sure, I make mistakes. But I'm a good person."

{There is no one righteous, not even one... -Romans 3:10}

What if we aren't good enough to be in the presence of a King? What if our imperfectness is filthy in His sight? What if we are like mud-smudged, rag-wearing peasants in the presence of royalty?

"That's offensive. I'm not dirty or poor. I haven't done anything abominable."

What if you weren't just dirty? What if you were dead?

"Dead? Really? I have breath in my lungs. I can run and laugh and eat and work. I'm healthy. I'm fine."

{As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins...gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath... -Ephesians 2:1-3}

What if that's true? Would we humble ourselves? Would we admit we needed help? Needed saving?

{But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions - it is by grace you have been saved... -Ephesians 2:4-5}

So maybe we can admit that there's a God. That He created the world. Maybe we can even admit that we're not perfect. That something inside is missing. Not whole. Not satisfied. Dead. But can we believe that He really loved us enough to offer us life? That He died in our place so that we could live?

{I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full... John 10:10}

Ok, if that sounds at least somewhat acceptable so far, what about this:

{Jesus answered, 'I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.' John 14:6}

"Hold up. That's the ONLY way? Just one way? One road? One plan?"

{Small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it... Matthew 7:14}

"Nope. Nuh uh. I don't like that. That's way to exclusive. I thought this was a God of love. Shouldn't he be more accepting? Couldn't he have come up with a better way? I've got some ideas of my own, God...Here's how I think it should be done..."

{Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom... Proverbs 1:7}

Maybe none of this is too hard for you to digest because you believe it. But even if you believe that Jesus died for you, had the power to come back to life and is even now seated at the right hand of the Father...even if you go to church and "do what you're supposed to do"...even if you truly have a relationship with Him (with all the indescribable joy and future hope that goes along with it)...

Are you still trying to have it your way?

Here's the story that a member of our Italian church read during the service last Sunday that convicted me...It's a story of an army commander named Naaman who had leprosy and came to the prophet Elisha to be cured:

{Elisha sent a messenger to say to him, 'Go, wash yourself seven times in the Jordan, and your flesh will be restored and you will be cleansed.' But Naaman went away angry and said, 'I thought that he would surely come out to me and stand and call on the name of the Lord his God, wave his hand over the spot and cure me of my leprosy.' -2 Kings 5:10-11}

Do you feel like that?

"No, God. That's ridiculous. You're wrong. I know a better way. It should happen like this...My plan is better."

{'My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thought that your thoughts.' -Isaiah 55:8-9}

By the way, Naaman eventually did what Elisha said and he was cured of his leprosy. 

He, like so many other biblical figures, tried to have it his way (remember what happened when Abraham and Sarah were promised a child but didn't want to wait for God to provide?).

But it just doesn't work that way.

"I want this...I prefer it that way...It's just not meeting my needs...I would be so much happier if...I wish..."

"I deserve a pay raise...I should have a job I'm not overqualified for by now...Life should look like this...Church should be done this way...Worship should be done that way...He should serve me...I should get what I want when I want it and how I say I want it."

Pause.

Deep breath.

Repeat after me:

"It's not about me."

If your life is not about you, who is it about?

If you were not the center of your universe, how would your life be different?

satisfied?

I used to love romantic comedies.

I've seen more than my fair share of them. I loved curling up on the couch and eating a way too generous portion of something sweet. It is escapism at its best: being carried away by a story in which all the loose ends are tied up around a nice little package of confectioner's sugar labeled "Happily Ever After."

For most of my childhood (yes, childhood...as one example, I somehow convinced my parents to take me and my 5-year-old brother to see Titanic when it came out in theaters when I was 7) and teenage years, and even through college, I can see now how my perception and definition of love was derived almost exclusively from chick flicks. 

I almost threw up in my mouth a little to admit that. But it's true. And I think it's still true for a lot of people. And I'm still a recovering RomCom-aholic. 

And perhaps the worst part is that I was almost entirely unaware of the fact until a few years ago. I remember the first time the thought entered my mind that this sort of entertainment could even be considered detrimental was when a friend described chick flicks as "female porn." That may seem extreme, but think about it: In the same way that pornography appeals to men (and women) on a visual and sexual level, chick flicks feed women's (and men's) emotional cravings for companionship and intimacy.

So what happens if our ideas about love and sex come solely from movies and pop culture? Here's a completely non-exhaustive list of unrealistic expectations:

1. The goal is the get-together (the film ends when the lovers finally figure everything out and skip off into the proverbial sunset)

2. Even if said "get-together" involves abandoning another to be with "the right one," it's okay because the protagonists were "meant to be together."

3. Being with that special someone is the only thing that will truly make you happy (cue The Beatles, "All You Need is Love")

4. That special someone will look like Ryan Reynolds or Henry Cavill and will absolutely ooze wit and charm.

And on top of these things that characterize the "cuter," "sweeter," "more innocent" RomComs, it seems that society has become appropriately disillusioned with puppy love alone and so, in the name of protecting hearts, they've decided it's easier to just use each other for sex. (Anyone seen Friends with Benefits or No Strings Attached?)

In fact, I watched a movie last night (remember, I labeled myself as "recovering") in which one of the characters was describing her last failed relationship: "I mistook sex for love...It was fun!" Wow, what a great message.

I'll refrain from spending more than two sentences on 50 Shades of Grey because there is already a superfluity of articles flying around Facebook concerning this controversial pop culture phenomenon, but has humanity really sunk so low as to desire what boils down to little more than manipulation and abuse in its attempt to gratify longings for sex and love? However, I feel I am not authorized to say much more than that, having not read the book and having no intention of seeing the movie.

This isn't meant to be a bitter diatribe. I'm not bitter. I'm sad. I'm sad because I can see what such messages have done to my views on love and how they have impacted so many of my friends, whether or not they realize it. I've seen too many people I love caught up in on-again-off-again relationships or "serial dating" in their never-ending search for a version of love that doesn't exist.

It's so easy to get carried away. By life. By society's definition of "normal." By desires. By what feels good. But "going with the flow" can take you over a waterfall or, at the very least, through some pretty serious rapids, without a healthy dose of self awareness.

What are you searching for? What are you chasing after? What do you want?

I want chocolate. I love chocolate. It makes me happy. It tastes good. My stomach literally just growled. 

There's half a homemade chocolate cake in the kitchen, and I know for a fact how decadently delicious it is. But if I go in there right now with a fork and devour the whole thing in one sitting, I'm going to make myself sick. More than that, there's no protein or nutritional value, so if that's all I ate today I would still be hungry. And if I make a habit of eating large amounts of cake on a daily basis, it will produce noticeable and undesirable results. 

That may seem like a cliche example, but doesn't the same principle apply to so many other things in life? I won't bother with specifics; a little self-examination will reveal what it looks like in your own life.

But it is so obvious to me how I and so many others have tried and failed to fill and satiate and satisfy our hunger with the cotton candy version of love flaunted by films and other forms of fiction. I mean, speaking practically, when I am truly hungry, I don't want cotton candy, a sugar cookie or chocolate cake. Personally, I want something like a grilled chicken salad with a sweet potato on the side.

In the same way that chocolate may taste good in the moment but isn't doing anything to truly nourish my body, so it goes with the world's version of "love." The chocolate cake in the kitchen cannot satisfy me. Neither has any boyfriend I've ever had ever been able do. Nor will my husband one day, if I ever get married. Nor will any job or hobby or any other thing I enjoy. 

(Not that almost anything in moderation and in its proper context is inherently bad: "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17)

We're human. We all have cravings and desires and longings. We get hungry and thirsty. We get tired. We want things that are bad for us. We indulge in the temporary and feast on the fleeting.

How are you satisfying your hunger and thirst? What are you resting in?

As always, this is getting to be longer than I originally intended, and there are so many verses relating to these thoughts that I could expound upon. However, I think I'll just list them and pray you read them slowly and allow them to speak to you in their own way:

" The woman said to the serpent, 'We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, "You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die."'

'You will not certainly die,' the serpent said to the woman. 'For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.'

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves." (Genesis 3:2-7)

"...Sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you but you must master it." (Genesis 4:7)

"Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare." (Isaiah 55:2)

"He who works his land will have abundant food, but the one who chases fantasies will have his fill of poverty." (Proverbs 28:19)

"Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for me, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things." (Psalm 107:8-9)

"O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water...My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you." (Psalm 63:1, 5)

"When I fed them, they were satisfied; when they were satisfied, they became proud; then they forgot me." (Hosea 13:6)

"She will chase after her lovers but not catch them; she will look for them but not find them....She decked herself with rings and jewelry and went after her lovers, but me she forgot." (Hosea 2:7, 13)

"All man's efforts are for his mouth, yet his appetite is never satisfied...This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind." (Ecclesiastes 6:7, 9)

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." (Matthew 5:6)

"Jesus answered, 'Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.'" (John 5:13-14)

"Then Jesus declared, 'I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.'" (John 6:35)

"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." (John 15:9-13)

"'In that day,' declares the Lord, 'you will call me 'my husband'; you will no longer call me 'my master'...'I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion.'" (Hosea 2:16, 19)

And because sometimes the Message has an interesting way of phrasing things, here's its version of 1 Corinthians 13:

"Love never gives up. 
Love cares more for others than for self. 
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. 
Love doesn’t strut, 
Doesn’t have a swelled head, 
Doesn’t force itself on others, 
Isn’t always “me first,” 
Doesn’t fly off the handle, 
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, 
Doesn’t revel when others grovel, 
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, 
Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, 
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end."

Give me that over some puffed up, fluffy Hollywood version of romance any day.