more than i could ask or imagine.

8  For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.

9  ^pFor as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts. [Isaiah 55:8-9]

---

20 ⁱNow to ^jhim who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think,^kaccording to the power at work within us, 21 ^lto him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. [Ephesians 3:20-21]

I don't really have a lot to say on this one. Just a follow up on my last post and a small testimony to these two verses.

When COVID-19 struck and shattered all my carefully-laid wedding plans, I didn't think there could be anything better than the way I saw it going in my mind. But I was wrong. God had better, sweeter, more intimate, more special plans for my wedding than I had for myself. 

I wish our friends and family could have been there to celebrate with us. But, quite inexplicably, I really did feel like everyone was actually there as they tuned in on Facebook live. And with such a small, simple ceremony, the day was stress-free and just sweet. The weather was perfect. The lighting was magical. A few family members watched from the top of the horse pasture and friends from foreign lands stayed up until after midnight to support us as we entered into this sacred covenant with God and each other. 

I'm sure I'll need to be reminded of this again and again in my life (and I'm sure I'll sink back into fear and doubt when ambiguity and seeming not-rightness/goodness come barreling through my life again), but God really does know better than I do. His ways are better. And in my wedding and my marriage so far, he has done more than I could ask or imagine.

Also, I'm personally LOVING married life! And to go back to a blog post from last year called "Why Wait?"....Yes: It is exceeding, abundantly, beautifully worth the wait :) 

If you would like to see our wedding (free of the frozen screens of the Facebook Live video :)), here's the recording (in three parts): 

Thanks for celebrating this very special time in our lives with us! We are just joyful and thankful :) 

all other ground is sinking sand.

To say this isn't what I expected would be the understatement of the century.

Of all the reasons to cancel a wedding, the possibility of a worldwide pandemic never even crossed my mind. 

Go figure, right?? 

But, here we are. I know the past few weeks have been crazy for everyone, but here's what the last two weeks or so have looked like for me:

March 13: Last day of working at the preschool before the governor of North Carolina mandated school closures (my school has continued to pay us, which is SO extravagantly gracious and generous and we are all so thankful!!!!).

March 15: As an anniversary/Valentine's Day gift, Glenn had bought us tickets to see Les Miserables...performance cancelled following the prohibition of large gatherings.

March 17: All restaurants begin operating takeout service only (Glenn and I have to have a meeting with a missions organization representative to talk through going overseas in my apartment instead). 

Somewhere between March 16-20: Move from denial that this could all go on long enough to affect our wedding to acceptance that we would likely not be able to have the 300-guest event we had planned and start to even get excited about a smaller, more intimate gathering and being able to livestream the ceremony so even more people could participate than would have originally been able to come anyway.

March 20-22: Enjoy a sweet time at the beach with my family and continue to work on wedding decorations with the hope that we would still be able to have some sort of ceremony/reception on May 23 with 50-100 people.

March 23: Governor of Virginia closes schools for the rest of the school year and limits legal gatherings to 10 or less until the end of April and travel agent calls to inform us that the resort where we had booked our stay for our honeymoon was closing until June 15.

Sometime between March 23-24: Give up on having anything May 23 and start to see it as just an arbitrary date at this point while starting to seriously consider getting married sooner (Glenn was already there haha) and looking at local honeymoon options (thankful for family members who are willing to let us stay in their mountain cabin for a few days!!!).

March 25: Read the news that Wake County (which eventually became North Carolina as a whole) was announcing a stay-at-home order the following day. Leave for my family's farm in Virginia to hunker down in wide open spaces. 

March 26: After hearing back from courthouses in Virginia and North Carolina with their uncertainty as to how long they would be able to remain open in the midst of all this, Glenn calls from work to say he is coming up to my hometown in Virginia so that we can get a marriage license the following day.

March 27: Go to the local courthouse to fill out the paperwork for a marriage license. Glenn drives back to Wake Forest, neither of us knowing for sure when we'll be able to be together in person again. Get a housing assignment from campus housing and a move-in date of May 1. 

March 28-30: still trying to logistically work out the details of how to 1) actually get married and 2) move into a place of our own when we are currently in different states and not supposed to (in North Carolina at least) leave our homes other than for a list of designated reasons (and we don't currently live in the same home!).

March 30: (note: I had pretty much written this entire post before this latest update) The governor of Virginia issues an order to stay at home (other than for a short list of reasons) until JUNE 10 (!), begging the question, "Is it legally permissible for us to leave our current homes to even get married?" These are hard times indeed. 

Several people have asked how we have processed through all of this and arrived at the decision to cancel the wedding on May 23 and (hopefully) actually get married sooner and have some sort of celebration later (possibly in September). Hopefully the above timeline provides some insight into all that!

Those are the facts. My feelings have been certainly on a journey through it all...from disbelief and indignation and a sense of entitlement and a clinched-fisted attitude to a more open-handed posture and a genuine peace from the Lord in the midst of uncertainty and instability. 

This hasn't coming without a grieving process. I, perhaps more than most, had big dreams for my wedding. I was looking forward to planning my wedding and putting those plans into action. I enjoyed getting to design the event and was working on making all sorts of chalkboards and DIY decorations. In college, I even wanted to BE a wedding planner and did an internship with a wedding planner my senior year! So when I say the Lord has given me peace, please read that as "miraculous, unlikely, unnatural, nothing-I-could-muster-on-my-own peace."

It may sound outlandish, but the burning away of all this dross--all the non-essentials of the wedding itself--has felt almost cleansing...It has left only the most important thing standing: my relationship with Glenn and our commitment to one another in marriage. And that genuinely feels stronger than ever...as we have become even more welded together as we are forced to make hard decisions together and communicate well with each other through it all (which, let me just tell you, learning to make decisions with another person is HARD). 

We know we could wait to get married and have our wedding when things are back to normal (though, really, who knows when that might be?). But wouldn't that demonstrate that we care less about our marriage itself and more about having our wedding the way we envisioned it? For us at least, being together (especially as the world seems to be falling apart around us), is more important than the frills and the trappings of the wedding. 

And yes, it literally took a global crisis to make me see that. 

But all of this, certainly, is SO much bigger than me and us and our wedding. I feel for all those affected...for small business owners and students who won't get to celebrate their accomplishments through a graduation ceremony and people who are watching their investments plummet and people losing their jobs and the people losing loved ones to the virus and experiencing symptoms of it themselves...for everyone whose plans have been shattered...for people who live alone and are isolated and lonely and dealing with deeper depression and anxiety and suicidal thoughts (on that note, please reach out to your single friends)...for losses I haven't personally experienced or even considered...and yes, even for brides. 

And yet...

There is hope. There is joy. If we choose to take hold of it. 

I've been thinking a lot about what God might be up to in all this. This is a very tangible example of the philosophical "problem of evil," isn't it? In light of all that is happening, God is either not there, not in control, or not good...right?

I don't pretend to have all the answers or fully understand his plan in all this. But I still believe that God works all things for his glory and our ultimate good (Romans 8:28). And I am experientially learning that even if I try to plan my own way, it is the Lord's purpose that prevails (Proverbs 19:21). 

Maybe God is trying to teach us all something similar to what I'm learning as I let go of my wedding and focus on my relationship with the man he's calling me to marry. A wedding is not a bad thing. Neither are jobs or graduations or a thick financial cushion or independence or busyness. But I believe all of this is shining a spotlight on a few very important questions we are normally either too busy or too comfortable or too fulfilled to notice:

On what do you build your identity? Where do you find your security? Where do you find your hope?

My friend and former colleague, Paul Barth, who lives in Italy (and we all know how heartbreaking the situation is over there right now) posted this today, and I thought he put it all so perfectly:

"Yesterday, during family worship, we talked with the kids about the possibility of any 'good' coming from the coronavirus. Together, we concluded that in the face of this terrible tragedy, God might be teaching us the importance of family, teaching us how fragile we humans are, and healing the environment. It was a great conversation for us and hopefully for them as well. They are of course, acutely aware that this virus brings pain and sometimes death, but over the past month, perhaps Tracy and I haven’t done the best to explore and process with them how God could be using this for His good and for His purposes. 

For me personally, God is teaching me two things. Firstly, He’s reminding me of our mortality and fragility. We are here but for a little while on this planet and then, sometimes unexpectedly and unfortunately, we…aren’t. With the time we’ve been given, how to we spend it? With whom do we spend it? When life inevitably begins to escape us, how will we look back on it? Our time here is so brief that the Bible calls it a vapor, a wisp. One minute we’re here and the next, we’re gone. Being reminded of this reality during this terrible time isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Secondly, I think that God is using this period to destroy some of our idols. Shutting down a country and being forced to stay in isolation changes things for people. Who are we when the things we often place our identity, joy, and hope in, are removed from us? If your worth or identity is wrapped in your work or productivity, what is your purpose in life when that’s taken from you? What do you do when you can’t…do? If an overwhelming amount of your joy and happiness is derived from sports or entertainment in general, what are you when that’s gone? What do you delight in? If your hope and security are placed in wealth and treasures, what happens when you lose your job, when your 401k drops, when your forced to part ways with your things? 

Timothy Keller calls an idol anything that absorbs our heart and imagination more than God, anything you seek to give you what only God can give. Good things can become our idols when they become ultimate things. As this virus continues to affect our daily lives (perhaps irreversibly) and forces us to reexamine ourselves, our values, and our priorities, I pray that we find that only Christ satisfies the deepest longings and groanings of our heart. Despite all the fears, may we be reminded that only He is the anchor that holds in the storm. Despite all uncertainty, may we be reminded that both in the harvest and in the famine, only He gives us worth, purpose, hope, and security."

If nothing else, these times have proved that your hope and identity and satisfaction can't be found in your job or job description or your paycheck or your schedule or your self-built sense of purpose. With all that burned away, what remains?

It brings to mind the old hymn:

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
But wholly lean on Jesus' name

On Christ the solid rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand...

So friends, we have a choice: When all is said and done, will we be found faithful? Will we be bitter and angry and downcast (not that those feelings aren't legitimate...trust me, fellow Virginians, I'm not any happier than you are that we were just ordered to stay in our houses for the next two and a half months and my heart breaks for the many ways that many people will be negatively affected by this)? Will we spend the next however long frittering the time away on Facebook and Instagram (I saw a quote from John Piper recently that said, "One of the great uses of Twitter and Facebook will be to prove on the Last Day that prayerlessness was not from lack of time." OUCH.)? Or will we let the dross be burned away and let our characters be refined? Will we cling to Christ, our Living Hope (1 Peter 1:3-9) and our Solid Rock (Psalm 62:5-7) and our Anchor (Hebrews 6:19)? Will we look up and see our families...learn to take time to really play with our kids and share meals together and even give thanks for this gift of extra quality time? Will we take the time to pray for our world...for the people dying without Hope? Will we figure out how to love our neighbors and find ways to be together, even if we can't be together physically? Will we let ourselves be taught something about contentment in all circumstances (Philippians 4:11-13)?

I'm not saying it's an easy choice to make. And trust me, given everything I've just shared with you, I'm struggling to make it, too. 

But the choice is ours. 

Born Again to a Living Hope

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, 5 who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, 9 obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

a long-distance engagement.

A lot can change in a year. 

It's still pretty crazy to me how this time last year the guy I'd had a crush on all semester had just (finally) gotten my number and we started talking on a regular basis...How I really no longer had any expectations of meeting anyone at grad school and had already set my sights on the impending graduation and whatever would come next...But how, on the first day of my last semester, in philosophy class (a requirement for graduation that I had put off until my last semester), a guy introduced himself as we walked out of class after something I had said about living in Europe, saying he was a European citizen and also wanted to go back to Europe...How he caught my interest from day one but I really had no idea he was also interested until months later...How we got to know each other as classmates who became friends...How we got to know each other initially without the hype of dating right off the bat and that allowed us to just be ourselves...How this man has fought for my heart with such steadiness and patience and perseverance, even (or especially) when he seemed much more sure than I felt...How his faithfulness and intentionality in building my trust reminds me of how the Lord relates to me...How he has worked to win me over...How much more I'm learning about trusting the Lord through learning to trust this man who loves me so well (though never so well as my eternal Husband always has and alway will)...How God orchestrated the crazy amazing fact that we were both in Europe (though in different countries) for the past few months...How distance can actually make the heart grow fonder and help you learn to communicate better and better because verbal communication is all you have...How I somehow always love him even more after the hard conversations, because, as we do the hard work of working through things, we come out stronger on the other side...How I've watched God provide in ways I didn't even really think were realistic...more than I could ask or imagine...How we've prayerfully been talking through this whole marriage thing for a while now...

And how the man who's been chipping away at my walls and healing wounds he never inflicted asked me to marry him in Europe, a place so dear to both of our hearts!

It's still a little surreal, and I hope I never stop being amazed at how God orchestrates circumstances for our good and his glory (Romans 8:28)...even what may feel, at the time, like heartbreaks and disappointments are just part of leading us into "our good and his glory," even if we don't always get to see that so clearly and explicitly on this side of eternity. 

It's just another way he's been teaching me to trust him lately...to look at my life and look how he's led me so far...He is so overwhelmingly kind! I'm so thankful I get to walk through this life knowing more and more deeply the One who knows everything that has ever been and ever will be and knows me better than I know myself...the One who is sovereign over it all but condescends to make himself known through coming down to live among us...as one of us...who condescended to be a fetus in a teenager's womb then a baby that had to be fed and changed and a kid with scraped knees and a teenager with acne and a man who was crucified. The King of Kings who laid aside his royal robe to kneel down and wash feet...who came not to be served but to serve (Matthew 20:28). 

I've been thinking a lot lately how the Christian life is a bit like a long-distance engagement. 

Glenn and I have been engaged for a couple of weeks now, and we won't be in the same place again until almost two weeks from now. Long-distance dating was hard. Long-distance engagement is WAY HARDER. 

There is so much excitement and expectancy...so much to look forward to! That already-but-not-yet thing feels more real to me than it has ever felt. He's already made a promise to me (as the PERFECT ring on my finger daily reminds me). But we're not actually married yet. We're not living together. We can't even be physically present together and see each other in person with these many miles (and, up until yesterday, also time zones and an ocean) of separation. 

In a similar way, Jesus has pursued my heart and won me over and extended the invitation of eternity and perfection with him and I've committed my life to him as well. And though I can communicate with him through his Word and prayer and his Holy Spirit, I've not yet seen him face to face. But I know he is going to prepare a place for me (see John 14). I know that one day there will be a wedding feast that will be so much better than the one that Glenn and I will have...one where the Bride (the church) is finally and forever and fully united with the Bridegroom (Christ). I hope that our marriage is only ever a pointer in the direction of the real and permanent and perfect Marriage to come. "For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face" (1 Corinthians 13:12). 

And I know it will be worth the wait. 

Even so, waiting is hard. The already-but-not-yet waiting of engagement is hard. Waiting for Christ's Kingdom to fully come is hard. Life here below is far from perfect and is often painful. 

But this is what we have to look forward to: 

6 Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out,

“Hallelujah!
For the Lord our God
    the Almighty reigns.
7 Let us rejoice and exult
    and give him the glory,
for the marriage of the Lamb has come,
    and his Bride has made herself ready;
8 it was granted her to clothe herself
    with fine linen, bright and pure”—

for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints.

9 And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.” (Rev. 19:6-9)

1Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. 2 And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. 4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” (Rev. 21:1-4)

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:25-33)

There's SO much to look forward to!! As this season of Advent, this season of expectancy and of commemorating awaiting the first arrival of Jesus on earth, comes to a close, may we be looking with such eager expectancy and longing towards Christ's second coming...when he will return to take us home and make all sad things untrue. When there will be nothing but happily-ever-afters for all time for us as his Bride!

As I'm longing for my own wedding day and my soon-to-be husband, I hope it never overshadows the longing for the much much better marriage I have to look forward to. Try as he might, Glenn will inevitably let me down, and our marriage will only last a lifetime anyway. We won't be married in heaven (Mark 12:25) nor will we care, because we will have a Spouse who satisfies us more entirely and intimately than any earthly spouse ever could. 

And he's coming for us.

Is that what you have to look forward to?

the enchantment.

I've been reading through The Chronicles of Narnia series by C.S. Lewis this year. I'd gotten as far as The Voyage of the Dawn Treader about a decade ago, probably, but had never read the series in its entirety until now. 

If you haven't read these books, I highly recommend them. Not only are they wonderfully entertaining stories, but they also offer brilliant illustrations of spiritual/biblical truths. The way Lewis uses his character of Aslan the Lion, especially, to demonstrate truths about God's character and the way he relates to us has brought me to tears several times this year. 

As I was reading The Silver Chair a few weeks ago, one chapter in particular really struck me as so relevant to and reflective of the world we live in today. So, this blog post is mostly going to be one long excerpt from Chapter 12 of that book.

As a quick recap, the plot follows two children from our world (Jill and Eustace) who are brought into Narnia and sent on a mission by Aslan to go in search of the long lost prince (Prince Rillian). They are joined in their quest by a "marsh-wiggle" named Puddlegum, and eventually discover that the prince has been put under a spell and is being held hostage in Underland by an evil queen. After the spell has been broken and they try to make their escape while the queen is away, the queen returns to her castle. Instead of using brute force to stop them, this is how the queen tries to keep them trapped in Underland:

Now the Witch said nothing at all, but moved gently across the room, always keeping her face and eyes very steadily towards the Prince. When she had come to a little ark set in the wall not far from the fireplace, she opened it, and took out first a handful of a green powder. This she threw on the fire. It did not blaze much, but a very sweet and drowsy smell came from it. And all through the conversation which followed, that smell grew stronger, and filled the room, and made it harder to think. Secondly, she took out a musical instrument rather like a mandolin. She began to play it with her fingers - a steady, monotonous thrumming that you didn't notice after a few minutes. But the less you noticed it, the more it got into your brain and your blood. This also made it hard to think. After she had thrummed for a time (and the sweet smell was now strong) she began speaking in a sweet, quiet voice.

"Narnia?" she said. "Narnia? I have often heard your Lordship utter that name in your ravings. Dear Prince, you are very sick. There is no land called Narnia."


"Yes there is, though, Ma'am," said Puddleglum. "You see, I happen to have lived there all my life."


"Indeed," said the Witch. "Tell me, I pray you, where that country is?"


"Up there," said Puddleglum, stoutly, pointing overhead. "I - I don't know exactly where."


"How?" said the Queen, with a kind, soft, musical laugh. "Is there a country up among the stones and mortar of the roof?"


"No," said Puddleglum, struggling a little to get his breath. "It's in Overworld."


"And what, or where, pray is this... how do you call it... Overworld?"


"Oh, don't be so silly," said Scrubb, who was fighting hard against the enchantment of the sweet smell and the thrumming. "As if you didn't know! It's up above, up where you can see the sky and the sun and the stars. Why, you've been there yourself. We met you there."


"I cry you mercy, little brother," laughed the Witch (you couldn't have heard a lovelier laugh). "I have no memory of that meeting. But we often meet our friends in strange places when we dream. And unless all dreamed alike, you must not ask them to remember it."

"Madam," said the Prince sternly, "I have already told your Grace that I am the King's son of Narnia."


"And shalt be, dear friend," said the Witch in a soothing voice, as if she was humouring a child, "shalt be king of many imagined lands in thy fancies."


"We've been there, too," snapped Jill. She was very angry because she could feel enchantment getting hold of her every moment. But of course the very fact that she could still feel it, showed that it had not yet fully worked.


"And thou art Queen of Narnia too, I doubt not, pretty one," said the Witch in the same coaxing, half-mocking tone.


"I'm nothing of the sort," said Jill, stamping her foot. "We come from another world."


"Why, this is a prettier game than the other," said the Witch. "Tell us, little maid, where is this other world? What ships and chariots go between it and ours?"


Of course a lot of things darted into Jill's head at once: Experiment House, Adela Pennyfather, her own home, radio-sets, cinemas, cars, aeroplanes, ration-books, queues. But they seemed dim and far away. (Thrum thrum - thrum - went the strings of the Witch's instrument.) Jill couldn't remember the names of the things in our world. And this time it didn't come into her head that she was being enchanted, for now the magic was in its full strength; and of course, the more enchanted you get, the more certain you feel that you are not enchanted at all. She found herself saying (and at the moment it was a relief to say):


"No. I suppose that other world must be all a dream."


"Yes. It is all a dream," said the Witch, always thrumming.


"Yes, all a dream," said Jill.


"There never was such a world," said the Witch.


"No," said Jill and Scrubb, "never was such a world."


"There never was any world but mine," said the Witch.


"There never was any world but yours," said they.


Puddleglum was still fighting hard. "I don't know rightly what you all mean by a world," he said, talking like a man who hasn't enough air. "But you can play that fiddle till your fingers drop off, and still you won't make me forget Narnia; and the whole Overworld too. We'll never see it again, I shouldn't wonder. You may have blotted it out and turned it dark like this, for all I know. Nothing more likely. But I know I was there once. I've seen the sky full of stars. I've seen the sun coming up out of the sea of a morning and sinking behind the mountains at night. And I've seen him up in the midday sky when I couldn't look at him for brightness."


Puddleglum's words had a very rousing effect. The other three all breathed again and looked at one another like people newly awaked.


"Why, there it is!" cried the Prince. "Of course! The blessing of Aslan upon this honest Marsh-wiggle. We have all been dreaming, these last few minutes. How could we have forgotten it? Of course we've all seen the sun."


"By Jove, so we have!" said Scrubb. "Good for you, Puddleglum! You're the only one of us with any sense, I do believe."


Then came the Witch's voice, cooing softly like the voice of a wood-pigeon from the high elms in an old garden at three o'clock in the middle of a sleepy, summer afternoon; and it said:


"What is this sun that you all speak of? Do you mean anything by the word?"


"Yes, we jolly well do," said Scrubb.


"Can you tell me what it's like?" asked the Witch (thrum, thrum, thrum, went the strings).


"Please it your Grace," said the Prince, very coldly and politely. "You see that lamp. It is round and yellow and gives light to the whole room; and hangeth moreover from the roof. Now that thing which we call the sun is like the lamp, only far greater and brighter. It giveth light to the whole Overworld and hangeth in the sky."


"Hangeth from what, my lord?" asked the Witch; and then, while they were all still thinking how to answer her, she added, with another of her soft, silver laughs: "You see? When you try to think out clearly what this sun must be, you cannot tell me. You can only tell me it is like the lamp. Your sun is a dream; and there is nothing in that dream that was not copied from the lamp. The lamp is the real thing; the sun is but a tale, a children's story."


"Yes, I see now," said Jill in a heavy, hopeless tone. "It must be so." And while she said this, it seemed to her to be very good sense.


Slowly and gravely the Witch repeated, "There is no sun." And they all said nothing. She repeated, in a softer and deeper voice. "There is no sun." After a pause, and after a struggle in their minds, all four of them said together. "You are right. There is no sun." It was such a relief to give in and say it.


"There never was a sun," said the Witch.


"No. There never was a sun," said the Prince, and the Marsh-wiggle, and the children.
For the last few minutes Jill had been feeling that there was something she must remember at all costs. And now she did. But it was dreadfully hard to say it. She felt as if huge weights were laid on her lips. At last, with an effort that seemed to take all the good out of her, she said:


"There's Aslan."


"Aslan?" said the Witch, quickening ever so slightly the pace of her thrumming. "What a pretty name! What does it mean?"


"He is the great Lion who called us out of our own world," said Scrubb, "and sent us into this to find Prince Rilian."


"What is a lion?" asked the Witch.


"Oh, hang it all!" said Scrubb. "Don't you know? How can we describe it to her? Have you ever seen a cat?"


"Surely," said the Queen. "I love cats."


"Well, a lion is a little bit - only a little bit, mind you like a huge cat - with a mane. At least, it's not like a horse's mane, you know, it's more like a judge's wig. And it's yellow. And terrifically strong."


The Witch shook her head. "I see," she said, "that we should do no better with your lion, as you call it, than we did with your sun. You have seen lamps, and so you imagined a bigger and better lamp and called it the sun. You've seen cats, and now you want a bigger and better cat, and it's to be called a lion. Well, 'tis a pretty makebelieve, though, to say truth, it would suit you all better if you were younger. And look how you can put nothing into your make-believe without copying it from the real world, this world of mine, which is the only world. But even you children are too old for such play. As for you, my lord Prince, that art a man full grown, fie upon you! Are you not ashamed of such toys? Come, all of you. Put away these childish tricks. I have work for you all in the real world. There is no Narnia, no Overworld, no sky, no sun, no Aslan. And now, to bed all. And let us begin a wiser life tomorrow. But, first, to bed; to sleep; deep sleep, soft pillows, sleep without foolish dreams."


The Prince and the two children were standing with their heads hung down, their cheeks flushed, their eyes half closed; the strength all gone from them; the enchantment almost complete. But Puddleglum, desperately gathering all his strength, walked over to the fire. Then he did a very brave thing. He knew it wouldn't hurt him quite as much as it would hurt a human; for his feet (which were bare) were webbed and hard and coldblooded like a duck's. But he knew it would hurt him badly enough; and so it did. With his bare foot he stamped on the fire, grinding a large part of it into ashes on the flat hearth. And three things happened at once.


First, the sweet heavy smell grew very much less. For though the whole fire had not been put out, a good bit of it had, and what remained smelled very largely of burnt Marsh-wiggle, which is not at all an enchanting smell. This instantly made everyone's brain far clearer. The Prince and the children held up their heads again and opened their eyes.


Secondly, the Witch, in a loud, terrible voice, utterly different from all the sweet tones she had been using up till now, called out, "What are you doing? Dare to touch my fire again, mud-filth, and I'll turn the blood to fire inside your veins."


Thirdly, the pain itself made Puddleglum's head for a moment perfectly clear and he knew exactly what he really thought. There is nothing like a good shock of pain for dissolving certain kinds of magic.


"One word, Ma'am," he said, coming back from the fire; limping, because of the pain. "One word. All you've been saying is quite right, I shouldn't wonder. I'm a chap who always liked to know the worst and then put the best face I can on it. So I won't deny any of what you said. But there's one thing more to be said, even so. Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things - trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that's a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We're just babies making up a game, if you're right. But four babies playing a game can make a playworld which licks your real world hollow. That's why I'm going to stand by the play-world. I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn't any Narnia. So, thanking you kindly for our supper, if these two gentlemen and the young lady are ready, we're leaving your court at once and setting out in the dark to spend our lives looking for Overland. Not that our lives will be very long, I should think; but that's a small loss if the world's as dull a place as you say."

You'll have to read the rest of the story to find out what becomes of the children, the prince, and the marsh-wiggle.

I could not help but see this passage as a cautionary tale to us not to simply drift with the flow of the culture in which we live. As believers, the world would make us out to be fools. But is it possible that we who believe that this world is not all there is--that, in fact, the things of this world are but shadows of the Real Thing--are the wiser ones? Is it possible that we are being lulled to sleep by the siren song of culture? That we might have an Enemy who is doing all he can to dull our hearts and minds to the Truth?

Is it, at least, worth considering? Does this passage not at least give us incentive to wake up and take note of the air we're breathing and the messages we're hearing? What if there's something--of Someone--out there who really doesn't want you know to why or how or by Whom you were created...who doesn't want you to know that there's hope...that there's more.

What if there is a Truth that could be discovered (or remembered?) if we were to fight against such a seductive enchantment? And, if we're honest, isn't the belief that there's more, in fact, better than believing this brokenness is as good as it's ever going to get? And if you believe things are just fine here, thanks, what if there were a Reality that put even the greatest ecstasy of our present reality to shame? Isn't that a hope worth at least your honest examination and consideration? 

What if it took the leap of faith it takes to believe such "children's stories" to break the spell and realize the Truth behind them?

We were not made for the dank darkness of Underland. We were made for more. And we have a real, living Aslan who, as Aslan did in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, paid the price traitors like Edmund (and you and me) owed and broke the witch's wintry curse. 

Do you believe this? If not, what do you really believe? 

What if you're wrong? 

And do you think there's even a shred of a chance there might be something at work that wants to keep you from believing what is actually True (if what you believe is not true)? 

Like I said, I think it's at least worth considering. 

May we as Christians, like Puddlegum, even though it may cause great pain and sacrifice on our own part, do our best to stamp out the sweet aroma of that which would lead us and those we love astray.